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 I envy those people who have one overriding sense of purpose in life. One all important goal at which to aim. They can wake up in the morning, drink their orange juice, and just get the ball rolling in the same direction they always have. Not so easy for those of us who intentions and interests are divided. (Just for the record, I absolutely hate orange juice. I am not anti-orange but orange juice seems to me to be disgusting, and always too sweet).

I woke up this morning and felt a wash of frustration froth over me. I love taking portraits. I love writing. I love walking around town with a camera in my hands; not in endless pursuit of the ghosts of H.C.B. or Robert Frank but as an observational walking meditation. The problem for those of us with multiple interests (those who've taken off their culturally induced career blinders) is that to excel at either portraiture or writing I think one has to commit and make a singular pursuit a priority. But, of course, I'm from the generation that wants it all and, in truth, has been fairly successful in getting most of it.

The pursuit of cameras, as Michael Johnston is engaged in on his wonderful blog, is a great way to sidetrack one's self into not deciding anything at all. You can research, test, buy, review and re-sell cameras all day long and they become their own occupation --- separate from taking the photographs you think you'd like to take.

Part of my ennui is that I'm satisfied with the cameras I have right now. Even the lesser cameras like the G85. Part of my lack of motivation to push photography harder in the business realm is that I'm not really forced into the hot pursuit of money. The issue with getting a second novel out is the same issue every dilettante writer has; it's hard as hell to get started ---- again and again and again.

Some days, lately, I feel as though I am stuck in quicksand. On those days the most helpful pursuit I can think of is.....a long walk. And a bit of introspection. I'm better at the walking part.

We should all be working 
on our next project.
Otherwise nothing will get done.
If only I felt certain about the nature
of the next project...


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